Music & Poetry

In Loving Memory

At twenty-five, the world ahead of you,
Out goes the light, in an instant
Nothings right, we can’t make sense of it.

But they’ll say, they will say,
One of the good one’s, gone so young.
He will be missed, there was a spark in him,
Another kid, the world appears so dim.

In loving memory. In loving memory.

My heart dropped, the moment that I heard,
Still right now, I don’t believe a word,
How could it be, the world will never see your smile.

But I’ll say, for awhile,
We burned brighter than the sun, for a moment,
Our bind couldn’t be undone, tied together,
We were all we needed at the time.

In loving memory. In loving memory.

You were kind, you had a heart of gold,
A goofy smile, I couldn’t help but laugh,
You were a light, bringing goodness to the world.

Now I’ll think, to myself,
There is so much to regret, looking back,
There was so much to be said, everything,
You were everything, to me for a time.

In loving memory. In loving memory.

A great kid, grown up so fast,
A good man, taking care of his own,
Just a guy, living his life,

But I know, yeah I know,
You represent, a time of my life,
My first love, when I’m looking back,
What’s left, is all the memories.

In loving memory. In loving memory.

Yeah I wish, that it wasn’t true,
I can’t believe, it just couldn’t be you,
I need to know, what got you to this place.

Cause I remember, all of it.
You were happy, always a smile on your face.
The only one, to cheer me up when down,
Was it all fake, or did you change.

In loving memory. In loving memory.

I wish I’d said, all the things that I felt,
I wanted to, but what would it help,
I’m not sure, if that was a mistake,

But I’ll say, I have to say,
For a time, you were everything to me,
Throughout life, I’ll look back on memories,
At the end, I hope you knew

What you meant to me,
In loving memory. In loving memory.
I Could Be

As a young girl, I imagined my life
In a way that was different from reality. 
I would think of the things that I wanted 
And imagine these ideas coming to life. 

As I grew up, I pictured my past and created,
I created my very own story in my mind
I would think of the things I had done.
And see myself, in a new light.

I’d been caught in a tower, and fought my own dragons. 
I’ve carried a sword into battle. Under attack, I proved myself a hero. 
A warrior, a savior, someone to be admired. 

Now I wonder, Is this my story, my legacy?
How is it that you see me, In your mind….
I could be the villain, I could be the captor, I could be the enemy. 

At times, I’d think of my life and watch as my story altered. 
No longer the victor, but instead the wounded soldier. 
I’d think of everything that I’d endured
And feel as though I’d earned it.

I’d been pushed around, taken advantage of
But I’d suffered through it, pushing back against my oppressor.
A victim, a survivor, someone to feel lucky.

Now I wonder, Is this my story, my history?
How is it that you see me, In your mind…
I could be the prisoner, I could be the guilty, I could be the offender

And I think to myself, What is it that I want?
So again I must question, evaluate, and analyze everything. 
Is this who I want to be, Is it how I’ll be remembered.
Will they even bother to remember me at all.

I picture the story I want to tell,
I think of the feelings I wish to evoke. 
And I write the story of my life. 
This could be how things go.

I will fight my demons, I’ll push for what I want.
In spite of everything, I’ll become who I’m meant to be.
A fighter. A teacher. Someone who inspires.

Now I wonder, Will this be my story?
How is it that they’ll see me. In their minds. 
I could be the hero. I could be the villain. Does it even matter? 

Does it even matter? Does it even matter
I know who I am. I know my own story.
I’ve felt my successes and I carry my shame.

When I look in the mirror, I see who stands before me.
I know what she’s accomplished, I see every scar. 
I know what she’s been through, I see where she’s going. 
A fighter. A teacher. Someone who inspires me.

And that’s all that matters. That’s all that matters.
Eyes Wide Open

I put my arm out and I keep you there,
Far enough away from me, as close as I can bear.

Can’t let you get close to me,
Can’t let you break my heart free,
Can’t let you get to know me,
What if you don’t like what you see?

Over time, I’ve learned my lessons,
Watch your back, Don’t hold your breath,
Expect the worst, and Keep your eyes wide open.

No one’s gonna stab me in the back,
I’ve been living with my eyes wide open,
On alert, Prepared for an attack.

I hide my heart, I hide my mind,
Behind these eyes, my spirit cries,
Why won’t you let them in?
Why won’t you let me out?

Drown out my voice, Lock down my heart,
These walls I’ve built, Begin to shake,
Threaten to tear themselves apart.

The need to connect, and longing,
To let you in completely,
But to bond with you, I’d have to let these walls fall.

Can’t let you get close to me,
Can’t let you break my heart free,
Can’t let you get to know me,
What if you don’t like what you see?

Over time, I’ve learned my lessons,
Watch your back, Don’t hold your breath,
Expect the worst, and Keep your eyes wide open.

No one’s gonna stab me in the back,
I’ve been living with my eyes wide open,
On alert, Prepared for an attack.

All the time, This anxiety wears me down,
It’s hard to live, It’s hard to love,
With this fear that surrounds,
Endless worry, Always holding my breath.

I need to breathe again, Need to close my eyes
Learn to let it all go,
TIme to shut down the alarms,
Throw these lessons out the window.

I’ll let you get close to me,
I’ll even let my heart free,
It’s time you get to know me,
Cause maybe you might like what you see.

Over time, I’ll learn new lessons,
Close my eyes, and allow myself to breathe,
Brick by brick these walls will fall down,
And maybe you might like what you see.

It’s time to shut off my alarms,
It’s time to unlearn all these wrongs,
No longer living with my eyes wide open,
I’ll let these walls come crashing down.

You can get close to me, My heart is finally set free,
It’s time you get to know me,
I think that you might like what you see.

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